You ever think about how in the world Luis Castillo, who was injured throughout last season, is having a great year and has managed to avoid the D.L.  amidst the barrage of injuries that have plagued the Mets this season? Well this offseason there were reports of Castillo losing weight and working out  a great deal, but Pessimets.com got the inside scoop on just how he’s done it.

Early March 2009

Satan: So Luis, what can I do for you?

Luis: As you know I’m coming off a horrible injury filled season. I’m making a lot of money and am playing like crap. I’ll do anything to have a good injury free year this season. I really need to live up to this contract.

Satan: Ahh, anything you say? I always love to hear those words. Ok your wish is my command. But what would you be willing to give up in order to have that injury free, great year of baseball? What if every major player on your team has to go on the D.L.? What if I give you that injury free year of great baseball but your team will be far from playoff contention by the end of July and every Met fan will hate themselves?

Luis: Oh I don’t know, can’t you keep everyone healthy including me?

Satan: No Luis. It’s either you or everyone good on the team.

Luis: Ok fine, just do what you have to do. But don’t make me look too good. I don’t want to be constantly tested for P.E.D.’s and stand out too much.

Satan: Sure, you won’t be an all-star but you’ll have a great year. I’ll even make you have an embarrassing game losing error along the way. Or I’ll have you slip and fall so you’ll be out a couple days but not on the D.L. No one will be the wiser of our deal. It’ll be our little secret. Fair enough?

Luis: Thanks, Satan, you’re the best! Besides, I still owe you from when you made Omar give me that ridiculous contract (laughing).